Talking About Breakups

We recently had a great opportunity that brought us closer together and ultimately strengthened our marriage. We wanted to share a little bit about that with you all. For the past four years, Kels and I helped out with our church's high school ministry, Ignition. We had a great time watching the young adults in our groups grow throughout their time in high school. This year we decided to take a break so we could be filled up by the Alpha course that is offered during the same time as the youth group meets.

This past fall, the youth directors asked if we would be willing to come back and speak during their relationship series, "As Sexy As..." We agreed that we would love the opportunity (gulp!). Neither of us had spoken in public before, so it was kind of a big deal for us. Not to mention that we would be talking to high schoolers. It's a crucial point in any young person's life, as they are so impressionable.

As the time came closer, we finally got wind of the topic we would discuss: breakups. What?! I think giving the sex talk might have been easier, but don't quote me on that. That's a difficult subject to cover in church. But, breakups? Yuck! We were the last talk in the series and followed: crushes, dating and sex (respectively).

The other challenge we faced is that we had to write our talk together. This ended up blessing us greatly as we, for the first time, uncovered the scars we had from past relationships. This was pretty freeing for us both.

We talked about how breakups are kind of like funerals. You go through a grieving process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Our main point through the talk was even though you feel like your life is over, God will help bring you through the situation. Jeremiah 29:11-12 says:

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen.

This brings us comfort in our times of sorrow. And God helps heal our wounds. He makes us new again. It might not be a microwave time period, but eventually we are able to move on and hopefully we learned something from the valley that we traveled through along the way.

Here are a few photos our good friend CJ Eldredge took while we were preparing, praying and speaking: