The Head and Heart of Our Family

This post was inspired by this one. One thing that really stuck out to me when reading it and that was the concept of the man being the head of the family and the wife being the heart. We've written about what the Bible says about this in the past, but this was a refreshing spin on the subject.

head vs. heart

When I say head of the family, it's not as much the authority, but more or less the strategic-thinking brain. For Kelsey and I this makes perfect sense. She is much more of a live-in-the-now kind of person while I am a what-does-the-future-hold? thinker.

Neither is wrong; it's just different.

Example: Kelsey and I both read this post. It breaks Kelsey's heart to see Rooney growing and changing so fast in front of our eyes, or rather, while she is at day care during the week. For me, it's exciting to see the changes. I love to watch her grow, evolve and learn new skills. I do miss her, but Kelsey's emotions drive her day. This makes me sound heartless, I know, but I guess I have the ability to not dwell on my emotions for very long before moving on.

Kelsey can't comprehend why it doesn't make me sad to see her changing so fast, and I don't understand why she dwells so much on the baby that she was and is.

This is what makes Kelsey and other mothers so special. Kelsey gets to gently remind me when I am not acting with my heart as much as I should be. I also get to help her use her head when she is thinking and acting only with her heart. It's definitely a fine balancing act, and I'm sure glad that we have each other. It reminds me of this verse from 1 Corinthians 12:

17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

I am not trying to stereotype women and men as a whole, but rather shed light that there are different personalities that we all have and finding the balance with our spouse might actually strengthen how we work together. There are certainly couples out there that are flip-flopped on these personalities, and that is completely fine. Some couples might even have a perfect balance in both areas and that's OK, too.

Defining each of our roles regarding the head and heart has really helped us understand each other on a deeper level. I know that Kelsey will keep me in check when I am trying to reason through every situation with logic. She will remind me at 5 p.m. to come join her and Rooney on the floor for family playtime before Roo goes to bed. And when Kelsey's heart can't make sense of a situation we are in, I can help her break down the situation and devise a plan to make it all better.

Looking back, maybe you have picked up on these personalities that we have. Kelsey writes posts about love and feeling inadequate, and I write posts like how to be an intentional family man.

What do you lead most with, your head or your heart? Or are you balanced?